Due to some publishing complications, here it isss finally:

Jummah Mubarak everyone. Today's my last day off till school starts unfortunately, and what have I done? Umm... well... not that much really. Yesterday I went out for lunch with some old high school friends, some that I haven't seen since our graduation. One of my friends that had gone away for university said to me, "You know what you need Shaheen? You need a vacation!"
Yah. That's right. I haven't seen this girl in four and some years and what did I do? I complained!! Hey man.. she asked what I was up to! Hehe astaghferullah, that was really bad of me.
Anyways, today Najma and I went to visit someone's mom in the hospital. I initially didn't want to go because I knew that everytime I came across occasions such as these, I would always leave feeling uneasy, perhaps scared even. And it would remind me of my loved ones that have passed away; moreso that time period of when they passed away. And that's just something I didn't want to deal with today.
It was quite selfish of me really. I'm like that these days. (Some may contest to 'these days' :P)
But I did go, and alhamdullilah I'm glad that I did. I really needed that extra awareness of Allah SWT, and that reaffirmation of my real goals. I was starting to wonder whether I was being too meticulous about my deen, and whether there really is any reward for such scrupulous practice. I do in fact, as most of you probably already know, worry wayyy too much. Sometimes I feel like I wanna implode.... kinda like that leader of the Nazgul in Return of the King *khehehhe*. I'd like to give up everything sometimes and just be laid back about things. That's a quality I'm going to have to work towards, InshaAllah.
But anyhow, this post is looking too long already, so I'll end it here. Please make du'aa for that aunty in the hospital. I don't really know her or the family. I've only met them once, but when I met her, she made me feel as though I was in Pakistan in my dad's village: she gave me pyar, spoke with the same kindness as if she was my aunt, and she acted as if she knew me and hadn't seen me for a long time. MashaAllah. They're not even Muslim! But may Allah swt guide their hearts onto the siratul mustaqeem. And mine as well. And everyone else's. ;)