On another note, my computer has tonnes of dust thingies and microscopic thingamajigs from working outside these past few days. I take note of it whenever I go to use the trackpad and there's STUFF on it. Like little grains that come back every few seconds. No idea what they could be, but it sounds gross doesn't it! Well it isn't really. Don't worry. Even though I know you're not.

And on yet another note, apparently my convocation is gonna be live webcasted. Is that not hilarious? My very first debut on the web. Yes. I have crossed all forefronts of technology, right alongside Adil Ray with his live radiostation. The reason why I mention Adil Ray is cuz he'll be in Toronto this entire weekend doing his show from there, AND covering the HUGE concert called UK Vibe 2. Kiran called me a couple of weeks ago hinting rumours of this big concert going down, with Juggy D, Punjabi Hit Squad, Jay Sean, etc etc etc, all in one venue. I was so jealous. Well not jealous, just sad. When I found out more info, I even looked up ticket prices, but alas there's another wedding this weekend. *sigh* I even caught myself daydreaming one day of meeting Adil Ray and taking over his radio show. hehehe Pathetic I know.

Woe is me, I say, woe is me.

Just kidding. Alhamdullilah. It's all good in the hood. Literally.

You can't protect your children from everything. But you sure try. I don't know what they're going to go through. Their tests will be different, their experiences new. I look in their eyes and it hurts me to know that they too will be challenged. I just pray they handle everything with ease, and as true believers.

I'm sitting outside campus working on a Sunday cuz everyone came over on Friday so I didn't get any work done at all. Not even one thing. Although I'm not even working right now come to think of it because I'm enjoying the semi-okay weather, the pink trees (I'm sure they have a name), and the chirping birds. Oh and some ladies just walked by with their dog. Oh and a car just drove by. Oh and... Yeah. I just don't work. Period.

Gantt Charts and Napkin Scribbles

Days unscheduled are days unfulfilled. Most of those unscheduled days however, are days enjoyed depending on what perspective you choose, of course. We all know the accomplished feeling one gets when they've finished everything they wanted to in that day, or week. AAAAaahhh what a relief!! and then you fall into bed with a cheesy smile of satisfaction and an exhausted sigh.

Right?? I think so anyways.

I'm really enjoying this lazy time right now though I must admit. I've gone a couple of weeks now, maybe two, without scheduling my time and despite not having accomplished anything I need to (which I may REALLy regret in a week or so), I'm pretty much just chilling and illing. THat's a good thing now apparently: illing. And now that I've typed it out, it's also a real term. Much like sick and wicked, illing has breached my vocabulary and these days that's what I'm keeping busy with. "Oh you know, just chillin' and illin'"

Chilling like a villain is old news.

But anyhow, I digress; probably because I didn't schedule it in. :P Normally I would madly scribble in my agenda book my weekly/monthly duties, (not that I always follow it) or scribble on napkins. Nusraat knows all about scribbling on napkins; there's magic in it I tell you. She once even drew out a new MSA logo on a napkin, only for it to go straight into the trash by the MSA president at the time. When I saw it in the trash I immediately went, "Oh who's nice logo design is this!!!!" without knowing it was hers and told the president to reenter it into the contest despite his disgust with napkin scribbles. Great ideas come on napkins.

As for Gantt charts, well I haven't ever done one before but I've always admired them, I have. :P

So I'm now about to venture back into time management. Namely because number one, i'm turning into this huge lazy bum, that's right, umranass, and number two, well I have tonnes of things to do and if I don't do them, that'll be the end of me. So BACK to time managed weeks it is! I might even try to pick up some shifts to get some biweekly paid paycheques too. Even though I'd rather not. But it does feel awfully nice to have a paycheque, doesn't it. All this contract mumbo jumbo really isn't helping.

And aside from that, I've started reading fiction again! Not that I've read anything outside the realm of mind-numbing engineering textbooks anyways. I might as well just rephrase that to, I started reading again! :P Trust me, Qamer was just as shocked as you probably are. "So I have about thirty pages left of that novel I told you about", I just told her on the phone. "Are you serious??" She stuttered. "I can't even imagine! You haven't read anything since high school, maybe even junior high."

haha I love it. Freetime RULES! And I apologize if I'm getting boring... I actually enjoy being boring to tell you the truth. It's somehow a lot quieter that way. :P But that's another story for another day.

PEACE OUT les bebes.

The Irony of It All

So you guys wanna know something REAAAAAAALLLLy ridiculous?! hahhaha I just got back from speaking to a prof about some research he's got me doing and he was sending something to me via email and went, 'So what's your email address again?" with his fingers poised at the keyboard. I responded, "oh, umm, hehe, it's umranass". When he finally typed it out he just buuuurrssst out laughing and was like, "You've got to be kidding me! Why don't you just put an alias?!'

Me: Alias?! What do you mean an alias? That was computer assigned.
Him: No, you can get an alias
Me: But, but.. no, there wasn't any way around it back then. Are you telling me there is now?!?!?!
Him: Yeah, just get an alias.
Me: NO way
Him: Yes!
Me: Noooo
Him: Yes!
Me: Noooooo

Then he quickly went to the website, and we plugged in all the stuff, and I now magically have an alias for my wonderful expletive email address that I dreaded for all of my 6 years of university.

And now I'm shaheen_rana@umanitoba.ca

And my account ends in 6 months.

HAHAHHAHA WHAT THE!!!

Some things really hurt. And no matter how tough you try to be, sometimes things just break on through and finally get to you. For a while now I've been upholding that impenetrable character, cuz underneath I'm one big ultra-sensitive softie that's sure to get knocked down if I don't, forget balling in movies. But now I'm heading down a familiar treacherous path of allowing my emotions rule my conduct, and I'm already seeing the danger in it. I'm hurting. And I don't like this feeling. At all. And when I realize that I'm hurting, I hurt even more knowing that I let myself get that weak. I'm supposed to be killer tough for heaven's sakes. :P

There's a hadith that I like to remind myself of whenever I notice myself letting my emotions get the best of me though. I'm not aware of the entire hadith and the context to which it dealt with, but it's something along the lines of, "A true believer is never stung out of one and the same hole". It used to give me strength and reassure me that I was doing the right thing. But now that I think I just got 'stung', it's only making me feel worse. I let myself slip just once and BAM I'm down. :P

But OHHh wellll. Such is life. I hate bees anyways.

Special Guest

My cousin came from Pakistan today!!! YAYYYYY! and we're all super excited alhamdullilah because it's the first time anyone's ever come from Pakistan. Well... family anyways. But I guess that's cuz there isn't anyone else from my dad's family that's outside of Pakistan... except for one distantly related family out in London. I still don't know how they're related, but let's just say they are for the fun of it. ANYWAYS! that's besides the point. The point is... my cousin came from Pakistan. Did you know that? Did I forget to tell you all that? hehehe.

I feel so sorry for him though cuz he kept on saying, "Canada bohat door hai, bohat door hai" while shaking his head. (Meaning Canada's really far, really far). And he was so exhausted but we kept on talking to him and I think he was just doing takalluf (formalities) and wasn't telling us to get lost. And he didn't bring us any samosays or naan tikkian as we asked him to. I mean... that's all we really cared about. Forget him! khehehe just kidding.

I guess we should show him around. This is exciting!! I'm scared he's gonna find out how crazy we all are though. :( Prolly like tomorrow. And then he'll cry and want to go back. Apparently he was all sad when they went to pick him up at the airport bechara.

Anyways, I'll talk to you all later.
Wassalam!

Dilemmas of a Teenage *scratch that* Mid-Twenties Drama Queen

How come no matter how hard you try to conserve, the conditioner always finishes first?

Akon's Got Dard.

Ghetto by Akon

Ghetto, ghetto, ghetto, ghetto livin’

These streets remind me of quicksand
When you’re on it, you’ll keep goin down
And there’s no one to hold on to
And there’s no one to pull you out
You keep on fallin’
No one can hear you callin
So you end up self-destructing

On the corner with the tuli on the waistline
Just got outta the bin doing state time
Teeth marks on my back from the canine
Dark memories of when there was no sunshine
Cuz they said that I wouldn’t make it, I remember like yesterday
Holdin on to what God gave me

(Chorus)
Cuz that’s the life when you’re
Livin in the, ghetto
And eatin’ in the, ghetto
Oh sleepin in the, ghetto
Ghetto
That’s the life when you’re
Livin in the, ghetto
And eatin’ in the, ghetto
Oh Sleepin in the, ghetto
Ghetto ghetto livin

No need to cherish luxuries,
Cuz everything come and go
Even the life that you have is borrowed
Cuz you’re not promised tomorrow
So live your life as if everyday’s gon’ be your last
Once you move forward can’t go back
Best prepare to remove your past

Cuz you gotta be willin to pray
Yes there gotta be there gotta be a better way, Oh
Yes you gotta be willin’ to pray
Cuz there gotta be there gotta be a better day, yeah

Whoever said the struggle would stop today
A lot of niggas dead or locked away
Teenage women growing up with AIDS

(chorus)

Gun shots every night in a, ghetto
Crooked cops on sight in a, ghetto
Everyday is a fight in a, ghetto
(uh oh uh oh ohh, ghetto livin)
Got kids to feed in a, ghetto
Selling coke and weed in a, ghetto
Everyday somebody bleed in a, ghetto
(uh oh uh oh ohh, ghetto livin)

Cuz that’s the life when you’re
Livin in the, ghetto
Oh livin by the, ghetto
Oh eatin’ in the, ghetto
Yeah ohh
That’s the life when you’re livin in the, ghetto
Oh sleepin’ in the, ghetto
When you live in the ghetto
Ghetto, ghetto

Ghetto Livin’.